How writers make good conversations

There’s a lot that goes into a good piece of writing. Technique, structure, word choice, flow – the list goes on.

But it all centres around two main goals: it gets our ideas across, and it makes others care about them.

Last week I talked about how writers build good roads to help our ideas arrive quickly and intact. Today, I want to cover the second, and arguably more complicated, aspect: creating a meaningful connection.

If you were to think of writing as a science and an art, the “make others care” part would be the art. As such, it’s harder to pin down all the things that make it work, but I’m going to attempt anyway with another analogy.

Writing is having a good conversation

We all know what it’s like to have a meaningful conversation.

Most of our conversations don’t fall into this category. More commonly, when we engage with others, our minds wander to what we’ll make for dinner, get distracted by what’s on that screen on the other wall, or fixate on what we’ll say next. (As Steven Covey puts it: “People don’t listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply.”)

Probably not so memorable.

But meaningful conversations? You might remember those for life. They can change the way you think, give you new ideas, incite you to take action, influence your future decisions, and make you care about things you never cared about before.

A great piece of writing does this, too. It leaves you wanting to do something more. The same things people feel when they walk away from a good conversation are the exact same things you want them feel when they read your blog, browse your website, or chat with you on social media.

Think about someone who’s primarily a talker. Like, they talk a lot, and it’s mostly about themselves. You’re that person if your company is putting out a lot of content that talks about what you care about, without putting in the time to consider what the other side thinks. There’s a reason people say a good listener is the best conversationalist.

What about that person who always speaks in a monotone voice? They might be saying great stuff, but gosh, it puts you to sleep every time they open their mouth. Your company has a voice that works the same, and if it’s as monotone as that person, your readers are tuning out, too. That’s a big reason why your brand personality and voice matter.

Let’s not forget something most of us hate: small talk. Don’t get me wrong, small talk is a good tool for finding common interests and shared experiences, and a strict diet of “real talk” would be pretty heavy fare. But the goal is to find something all parties are interested in, and talk about it deeper. If your content isn’t focused, and routinely just scratches the surface of a topic, chances are you aren’t giving your audience something to ponder, or inspiring them to care.

Here’s how writers make good conversation

Actively listen. We listen to our audiences’ worries, fears, points of pride, and moments of joy so we better understand what to write and how to write for them.

• Find where your audience hangs out, gather data, and just observe.
• Ask your audience questions directly. Surveys, focus groups, interviews, whatever it takes.

Share common ground. It doesn’t need to be big, but when we share something in common with our audience, we become insiders, and it creates an immediate bond.

• Actively listen to find out what your audience already cares about.
• Tap into popular culture and current trends we’re sharing as a collective society.

Make it about others. We put the audience at the centre of the conversation, instead of the product or service.

• Put benefits first. “Saves you time” is better than “One-click buying.”
• Understand why your audience is coming to you and what they’re looking for.

Tell stories. “Narratives activate many other parts of our brains as well, suggesting why the experience of reading can feel so alive,” writes the New York Times. We’re experts at that.

• Find ways to use actions, senses, and feelings instead of summary and exposition.
• Use real, human stories where you can.

Spark curiosity. One of the most effective returns we can deliver is a satisfying answer to a curious query (even if we’re the ones posing it in the first place).

• Answer questions your audience is asking – or would ask, if they thought of it.
• Always deliver on the premise you’ve teased.

Use your voice. The tone, timbre, range, pace, pitch, and volume of our words affect how we receive them – not just in speech, but in writing, too.

• Write in line with your brand personality. Are you warm and inviting, or calm and reliable?
• Read your work out loud to hear how your words will resonate in your readers’ minds.

Most of our writing is a one-way communication. We write a blog article, post it, and let our followers know it’s up. A handful of people may comment or share, but the vast majority are in lurk mode.

That’s okay. As long as you’re listening and doing your audience research, you’re using conversational behaviours, even if you’re not explicitly having a conversation.